|| now ||

It's coming up on two weeks, on Tuesday. Two weeks here in this beautiful country with wonderful people. Two weeks of learning about living life in a new place. Two weeks of time with people I can now call friends. Two weeks of being around a new language that makes my head spin but which is beautifully frustrating. Two weeks of being crazy busy, but with the freedom to pause when necessary. Two weeks.

It's about time I write something for this blog, since Alyssa's been so good and posted all of our updates so far (what would I - and you! - do without her?!). It's not that I haven't had things to say, it's just...I haven't spent the time to write them down in a blog-post fashion. I guess I'm overwhelmed with everything I could say, that I don't know what to say at all.

So, for now, I'm just going say what I think of and leave at that (if you have questions, feel free to comment and ask, and I'll try to answer them in a later post!).

I don't know what I was expecting this internship to be like. I tried not to have expectations, because I knew the trip would be different from whatever I thought it would be. But it's impossible to go into a seven-week trip with no expectations at all. Before I left, I was hoping that this trip would give me a glimpse into what life overseas looks like, at least for these people in Uruguay. That was one of the things I was most looking forward to, but it's also been one of the things that has surprised me the most about the trip so far. Life here feels so....normal.

I often find myself waiting in life. Waiting for the end of a semester, the end of a hard week, even the end of a day sometimes. The thought hovers in my subconscious that the future is going to be better than the here-and-now. That today I am preparing for some distant point in the future when I will really be able to make a difference and live a life that 'counts.'

It sounds silly when I write it out like that, but nevertheless, there it is.

God has been quietly reminding me that He cares about the now, the today, the 1:07 in the morning when I'm sitting on the couch writing this post, the time spent washing dishes at the sink, the bus rides to-and-from language school, the events where I can hardly speak to the people because I don't speak Spanish.

I'm just living life here, very much the same as I do at school or at home. Yes, there is more of an idea of 'intentionality' than I might have in the States, but mostly it is the same. We all still need to eat and sleep and take care of the kids and go to the store and keep up with friends and family and spend time with people. It's life, just in a different country, with a more focused purpose. It feels 'normal.'

I'm not changing the world here. No, I hardly feel like I'm changing myself. But today matters. It is now that I can live for Jesus. It is now that I can live in dependence on Him, even for the 'little things.' It is now that I am a daughter of the King, redeemed and forgiven and washed in His blood. I want to live now, and leave the future in His hands.