Being

I (Alyssa) have now had about a month to reflect on my trip and readjust to life in the United States. It is a life I hardly recognize for several reasons. First, I arrived back in the States to summer instead of winter. Second, I am not going back to college in the fall (I graduated as of last Friday). Third, I really don't know what I am doing with my life right now. The key word in that last sentence is "doing", but I'll come back to that. 

A cool shot I got at an amazing nature reserve near Cerro Pan de Azucar (in Ingles it means Sweet Bread Hill).

Also, there were jaguars!

Uruguay was seven weeks of blowing-my-mind and normal all wrapped into one sweet summer package. I liked riding the buses all on my own (okay, Christa was there too). I liked watching all my different hosts serve me, and astound me to speechlessness with their generosity and genuine love for God and other people (including me). (They still probably don't know how much they each blessed me, because I never could get the words out to my satisfaction.) I liked being welcomed so warmly by people who were complete strangers to me before. I liked eating fresher-than-fresh meat (McDonalds was totally better in Uruguay because of the beef), sweet pastries (shout out to bizcochos), and anything my supervisor's wife put on the table. I liked being taught how to flick a frisbee (again) by a Uruguayan frisbee player who I could only understand by gestures. I almost cried when Christa told me one of her posts/pictures on Facebook was commented on in Spanish--real, genuine Spanish! (Small as it was, that was a landmark for me.) I liked hearing dozens of Uruguayan followers of Jesus sing "God is Able" (Spanish edition) over and over again in self-forgetful worship. I secretly liked coming home and being the only one I knew who would even drink more than a few sips of mate, much less enjoy it. (It's okay, more for me!) And that is not even the half of it. 

My first mate pour. Ever! (Glad we got it on camera.)

Having said all that, I did not come back home on some spiritual high. Honestly, I didn't want to. I have had that "life-changing-experience" high many times, and it has proved to be incredibly fleeting. What lasts is the conviction that (euphoric feelings or not) God was present in Uruguay and He was and is and will continue to work there in the hearts of people--people made in His image, who He created and relentlessly loves. Furthermore, God was not absent when I decided to go to Uruguay and when I got on the plane to come home; and He is still here--presently, actively in my life--desiring to be, at every uncertain (and certain) moment, the satisfaction of my life.

That is where the title of this post, and the idea of being vs. doing comes in. In Uruguay God began teaching me about the difference between being and doing. I am a performer by nature. I like to do well at whatever I try, I like to live up to people's expectations of me, I like to go above and beyond what I expect of myself. I am always trying to do the right thing. Alway trying to perform to perfection. It is not inherently bad, but I often try to live my spiritual life based on that same performance ethic. I try to earn my relationship and good-standing with God. Quickly forgetting that I never could and never can be good enough to please God; He is pleased with me because He is pleased with Christ and I am in Christ. 

So all I have to "do" is be. I just have to be a Christian... a follower of Christ. Wherever I am. Wherever I go. With whoever I am around. I just have to live in my new identity as a child of God. It doesn't matter what ministry or service I do, though ministry and service are good. It matters that whatever I do be done out of my "being." Another way to say it is that I should act out my state of rest in God, rather than trying to earn that rest by doing good things. 

Thank you all for praying and supporting Christa and I during our Uruguayan summer!